By: Bryan Banner
September 25, 2018
What is wrong with me?
Why do I put myself through the misery of watching terrible movies every so often, they never get any better. Here is a list of five movies that are god awful, but now that it’s in your head I bet you might think about maybe popping one of them in… like in the middle of the night, and you will never actually admit to it.
1. Spider-Man 3: this one we all really wanted to be good. We got Venom and had two pretty good movies in Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 regardless of your opinion on Toby’s portrayal of Peter Parker. Instead we got this monstrosity they call a movie. The CGI looks like a 3D film that was made in 1976 and converted to TBS for a Tuesday morning.
I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m watching Spider-Man 3 on Netflix right now and I am so distracted by how bad the dialogue and acting is. I’m not sure how anyone from this movie survived and still has an acting career that isn’t starring in cereal commercials on PBS. I’m not sure this list is gonna get done. I mean seriously this movie might have more CGI than Phantom Menace. I’m really upset with myself for not turning it off and I’m 53 min in…. what in the actual fuck is wrong with me?
-Bryan “the mad scientist” Banner
I’m really disgusted with myself, 57 min in.
Fuck I watched the entire movie.